The Walthersons

There was a young family from Clark
Who liked to take walks in the dark.
Therefore, it was late
When their sticky fate
Turned back into - quote - harmless bark.

- Aethelwyne’s "Short Verses and Tall Tales"

March 21, 1972

I spoke to young Jack Waltherson today. He brings my paper by in the mornings.

Poor boy, he will doubtless miss his parents. I suppose I will be sorry to see them go. Though I will never forget the time they decided that giving him wheels would be a grand improvement.

“He’ll get his route done twice as fast!” says Judy.

“And speaking of fast, there’ll be no more trousers lost to the Grimmelshank!” says Hank.

They realized their error when, due to lack of brakes, Jack remodeled Jonathan Brown’s mailbox with his head, and still came home minus the lower third of his pants. Like I always say, “It does not do to turn a boy into a bicycle.”

I shall have to remind them to take some Iribith powder along next year. Of course, they will forget it anyway. Poor Jack. The whole family in town on Friday, and him the only one left on Sunday.