Uum

Who’s Uum? Listen, you tatter-eared, nattering ape! He may not be as all-powerful as we thought, but that’s no reason to turn your back on thousands of years of culture. In his name, the Kammocks were driven out of this land and back into the Wasted Lands. That’s saying nothing of how his priests invented writing, domesticated bullonga, and defended your ancestors from slavering heretics. You ever meet a Kammock, son? I thought not. You’d be done like dinner, no way out.

You don’t believe the lies that Undar is spreading, do you? Xarxus wasn’t the greatest man to be friends with, but he gave up a life of personal pleasure to improve the land. What’ve you done lately to make the land better, my strapping young buck? Stimulate the economy through attempts to best Lady Sibyl’s ale-quaffing record? Good luck on that, by the way.

Now that I have your attention, this is who Uum is: He is the Host of Men, the Divine Torch, and now the Martyr. He created this world and all within it. These facts are explained in greater depth within the Incarnation Prophecies. He is the divine force which flows within us, granting us the power over this land and the fortitude to face the evil which opposes all that is good. He gave his right foot to defeat the Trap of Bizarkus, which was unleashed at the behest of Saihar the Unjust, mogul of Undar. Now if you’ll excuse me, my cane seems to be repaired. I must be going.

Overheard from Ol’ Horace to a callow youth at Yarth’s, a distinguished haberdashery in Zooch, two years after the Rain of Screams. As recorded in the diary of Garbez of Zooch.