The Rain of Screams

Oh, that? It marks the first time in the history of the Matratut Royal Academy that the Dean of Studies was seen outside before late evening. Oh, forgive me. Just my joke, to inject a little levity into the situation. Certainly, no one was laughing when Uum the Host of Men's foot fell from the heavens. Although the common belief these days is that it fell in one large chunk, a simple analysis of the geological make up would reveal that this is simply infeasible.

If one gets past the Glow of Tarhur that now surrounds the Lesser Matratut region, the simple comparison of old maps to the present state of the land reveals the addition of exactly zero giant Uum feet. The investigation would, however, reveal a great number of enormous monoliths scattered across the land like so much refuse from a broken, broken machine. One of these gargantuan monoliths fell not three yarz from the Matratut Royal Academy Dean of Studies' breakfast chamber.

The Rain of Screams is the name which prominent historians have now assigned to the period running from the severance of Uum's right foot to the settling of his remains on this earthy plane. Although many advise that this title be changed to the Reign of Screams to encapsulate the massive stream of refugees who fled the region, and the fear which ruled them, these people are foolish and must be properly educated before being allowed back in the field of legitimate history. No, history is imprecise enough without broad categories available in which to lose important events. Although many people are willing to talk about this time of change, few have much to report beyond the basics: enormous rock-like constructs fell from the sky, the nature of man was revealed to be that of ignorant beings prone to riot at the merest deific act, and the entire political and economical system of Matratut was destroyed. Harumph!

Transcribed by Rankin the Scriviner from a response to an off-hand comment about reed screens made in Ol' Horace's presence.